No moreSlit my wrists and hope to dieSit around and wonder whyI love you and you love meBut I want to be set freeBecause of you I can't leaveLoving you is my pet peeveClose your eyes, don't watch me fallCuz I'll want to end it allI don't know if I'm still hereOr if I've succumbed to fearI can live this life no moreI lay silent on the floorI have no more tears to shedClose my eyes, lay down my headSlowly let my smile fadeWonder if I should have stayed
ListenStop whatever you're doingDon't listen to those fake thoughtsStopPut your hand over your heart.....Do you feel thatDo you feel the beatYou're body is pulsatingWith lifeWith loveAnd with lightAnd if you listen close enough...You can actually hear that in those beatsIt's like listening to a clock ticking through timeNow, that's how to REALLY listen to your heartAnd once you hear it's beautyYou'll want to hear moreSo maybe it's time that you listen to someone else's heart tooBecause sometimesHearts beat in sincJust like how my heart beats for youSo dearLet's take a break from this nightmarePut your head on my chestAnd listenAs my heart beats for youAnd let our hearts gradually beat slowerAnd slowerAs we fall asleepInto a better dreamOk dear
BurnCan you hear me?Can you see me?Do you fear me?Could you be me?What do you think?Could it be true?Is it possible,That I could be you?Well, dear,What do you say?You sense that I'm here,And I'm here to stay.The words don't come out right,The pain just stays in,And there's nothing you can do about it,No way you can win.So let me hold you,And watch you burn.From dust you came,To dust you return.
FallI accidentallyRead those words again"Fall Apart"And that's exactlyWhat I didI turned to youHead downEyes wateringAnd asked"Do you thinkThat I mightFall apartAgain?".....And you saidThat youDidn't knowBut you did knowThat youWould do anythingYou couldTo help prevent it"But ultimatelyIt isn'tUp to me"You saidThen I worriedBecause you are my strengthBut thenYou lifted up my chinWith your gentle graspAnd gazed intoMy pool of tearsWith your very ownAnd said"Even if you doEnd up broken againI will still be thereTo pick up the piecesI promise"And thenWith youBy my sideAndIn my heartI knew I wouldn't fall apart againNoInsteadWe'd fall togeter
FarDeep or shallowFull or hollowAfter a while you don't even knowIt all rushed so fast, yet went so slowThe signs are clearly starting to showAnd now you're afraid as to how far you'll go
Hope"Hello,are you there?I can feel your eyes boring into me,I can sense your stare."Really,Is that all you have to say?You have no words of "hope" to tellBefore I fade away?"Please,I've come to heal.Trust me,I know exactly how you feel.""You know nothing!" I harshly whispered."I refuse to take off the mask I have on.The damage has already been done and it's irreversible now,for I am already gone.""What?" You uttered."What do you mean?"Wow, you're clueless. But it is pitch dark,so I guess the blood can't be seen."It's all over now." I whispered,finally a real expression of peace on my face.Now I finally saw that "hope" you spoke of,as I slipped away, smiling and staring off into space.
Blend InWith sharp words and empty smilesYou discovered the will and strength that I was lackingYou took a swing at me and liked the powerSo you just kept on attackingYou pushed me down and hovered over meYou lunged at old scars and kept on hackingYour grin full of satisfaction and eyes full of venomBecause you could see I was breaking and crackingThen I'm not quite sure what happened nextBut I was aware of your feet clicking and clackingThough I knew you were fleeingI was unaware of what sent you packingAs I picked myself up, my vision was blurringI collapsed in a corner, my mind slurring and slackingMy wish to "blend into the scenery" had come trueAs I slipped away and became part of the wall to which I was still backing
TwistI'll draw how I feelIf you really insistIt'll be a small pictureBut you'll get the gistThough it comes with a priceAnd it comes with a twistFor the "pen" is a razorAnd the "parchment" is my wrist
WingsA rip and a tearThe glimmer of dim light causing the metal to glareBut we won't stop thereBecause this is the only thing for which we still careDrip Drip DripWith every drop, we're falling fast and falling fasterPushed to the edge by life's unmerciful disasterThe pure cruelty of this world hidden by liesKept caged behind sorrowful, sullen, sunken, dull eyesAnd that's only part of our maskBut you should know better than to askBecause after the first couple of cracks and chipsWe decidedly seal our fake-smiling lipsFor we are already weakened and wish to hurt no moreWe're still trying to heal the hole you unknowingly toreFor when you went, emptiness was left behindWe can't believe we trusted you, we were childish, stupid, and blindYou must remember we're fragile and scared though we hate to admitWith every pang of guilt and shame, you know where it's going to hitAnd because our mask isn't easily
limited stocki am nothing morethan this serotonin-starveddopamine disaster.my oxytocin is overwhelmedwith winter's frost, its fadedfondness reached recessionseven years ago.i remember wretched weeping,dry-eyed as i discovered thatmy own brain had betrayed me;it never taught me how to love.my heart is something seasonal,and i'm so sorry, darling.
How To Not Be Hated By Society: A Foolproof Guide1. Don't be anything but white. When you're black, people will hate you,because you look ghetto, and uneducated. But when you're white, people will hate you,because you look racist, and stuck up, and unapproachable. And when you're anything in between, people will hate you,because you're different, but not different enough, and there's no one to stand up for you.So actually, don't have skin.2. Let other people decide who you spend the rest of your life with. When you're gay, people will hate you,because it's unnatural. You should have control over your mindset, and so should total strangers. When you're transgender, people will hate you,because you challenge their religion and deities don't make mistakes, so obviously you did.Do I even have to explain this? It obviously shouldn't be your own decision who you fall in love with.Your emotional compatibility and well being doesn't matter at all.You'd clearly ge
i was meant to die twicei am theill-bodied,my handsscar-pocked& s h a k i n glike railways.i talk like thealcohol headache,the silvercavity filling,the streetcarspine; i fester,butterfly-bandagemy mort bodyto splinter,to polarize.
interstellar motion (the north star)i.dear cosmonaut,some daysi am in love with you.some daysi am in love with youand i ache in every language i knowand a thousand i don't;your name spilling fromconstellations like somepure wor(l)d builtelysium.ii.there are daysi am ador(n)edby the skin of thosewho matterwhen kindness blistersand it burns;i am spitfire conflagrationsand no respite, no shelterwhen comfort is theflameyou fly from.iii.in the betweenmomentsi am pausedfloating lonesomeinterstellar satellitesin orbit;these are daysthat feel like all daysand noneand i cry out to believei am. not broken,yet sacred and longingsca(r)red, andwanting.you,perhaps.iv.dear cosmonaut,some daysyou are everything;but the sunmust alwaysset.
GayI am gay.I'm not a disease, I'm not a problemI'm not an afflictionI don't need treatment.I don't need helpI'm not sickI'm not confusedI'm not a sin.I am gay.I'm your daughterYour sisterYour friendYour co workerYour classmateYour acquaintanceA complete strangerI am gay.I need love, just like youI need smilesI need supportI need a hugI need a friendI need a familyI need acceptanceI need understandingI need youI am gay.I know what love isI know what pain isI know what hate isI know what life isI am gay.And I need you to love meThe same way you loved me before you knewI am gay.And I have experienced hateFrom more people than just youI am gay.And I wont change.I wont give up.I wont back down.I wont pretend.I wont lie.I wont deny.I wont hide.I wont hurt.I am gay.And that's okay.
eulogy (six months after the fact)last night, i kissed away the memory of you,woke up this morning with someone else’s handstangled in my hair, someone else’s sweat stuckto my skin, just so that the next timethe grocery clerk asks me how i’m doing,i can say that i am recovering.recovering.like you are a drug, and i was an addict.like you are a drug, and i have gone half a yearsince my last hit.last night, i let a stranger press his bruisesinto my neck and all i thought aboutwas whether or not you’d call me by myname if we met each other again.to be honest, i’m not sure i could get it allthe way out—it’s been too long avoidingit like a landmine to even think of lettingit sit on my tongue again in whole syllablesinstead of choked off bites of lettersi didn’t mean to stutter outlast nightlast night i spent twenty minutes in love with a boyand for the longest time i couldn’t bringmyself to look him in the eye.last night a boy picked me up and tol
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondlyof passions and talents,of guitars and stars,with such breathless intensitythen stops short andapologisesfor speaking at all.All because somewhere in her life,someone she loved broke her heartby ignoringher beautiful wordsand telling her toshut up,keep it down,nobody cares.People aren’t born sad.We make them that way.
This Is SchizophreniaI feel like I'm talking to myself,and not in the humorous way,not like the, I'm “going” insane waybecause I am Insane.I'm insane in the sense that I can hearthings that aren't necessarily there,things that burrow their little bodiesinside of my ears.And insane in the way I see things, things thatyou can't see. And trust me it'snothing to “feel” special about, not a magic act,not a special power that I harness.This is schizophrenia.This is a delusion so real and “natural”that you can't tell whether it's imaginationor something unnaturalThis is a nightmare that never goes away,that a pinch to the arm only angers morethan medications that are supposed to stopthe mental sores.These are arms so red and angry,because pinching doesn't work,but you pinch and pinch and pinchin order to maintain some sort of normality.And these next few lines are not todote down on Christians, becauseI'm one of you. Just God'sforsaken child, I
Amore mioIt was love at first sight,they were said to have sons,daughters, and then grand-kids.Though right before her life thread cameto an end, he pulled her close against his chest'Hey, get up! Our time together can't be over yet.'
MaskMaskA maskWear a maskI wear a maskA mask that hides my faceA face that expresses my painA pain that rules my heartA heart that is truly in vain